I accidentally wore red today, and everybody’s like “Awwww… you dressed up for Valentine’s Day! How cute!!! <3”. Which caused me to publish my long-overdue ultimate sartorial guide:

1. Every article of clothing matches every other article of clothing. Wear whatever’s on top.
2. Making an effort to color-coordinate your outfit is lame. Wear whatever’s on top.
3. The only thing more lame than item 2 above is making an effort to mismatch your clothes if they accidentally match. If whatever’s on top accidentally matches, wear it.